So today I met with the surgeon and his team, and the pre-op people, and got examined and talked to and got blood work and an ekg... Everyone is all excited about this... well, except me. I am a bit ambivalent. How about it I go to sleep now and wake up in March?
From a medical point of view, it is great to know that there is one resect-able lesion than got smaller with chemo, which puts my CURE rate post op at over 50%. So it is great news. Just find my mind going back to the last major surgery... This time, they told me to expect to wake up in the ICU... have to think about the benefits, about going forward, and how this surgery may allow me to get all the way better.
My husband will be allowed FMLA time off to be there, and my eldest, A, will be here from 2/13-2/16!! So I will have great support.
The days are getting longer - over an hour longer already, compared to late December. When the sun shines, the sky is SO blue! And the bitter cold seems to have moved to the Midwest and the east coast - sorry for you guys! Hope you are all staying inside, sipping coffee or hot chocolate, reading or playing board games... and not having to try to drive to work/school.
Thanks for your prayers and thoughts! God is so gracious, even when we get whiny. Amazing.
Well, I have used up more than my share of ellipses, so.... bye for now!
Happy New Year! Been away for a while vacationing w/ the entire extended clan at Disney World. Pretty neat as we celebrated 100 years of marriage: the folks (60 yrs), younger sister (30 yrs) and niece (10). Glad to be back though and into the thick of things w/ life as we are doing it.
ReplyDeleteWell I think that ambivalence is a healthy normal reaction to your upcoming surgery. I'd be right with ya on waking up sometime in March....ummmm 201_? I'd add some conditions like: cancer free, fit as a fiddle (what does that really mean), at peace with life, growth hormones (a couple of inches would be nice)....I did digress to me didn't I??!
I can't believe that you're doing yoga, eating healthy, taking care of yourself, sleeping, dropping the soda, taking care of yourself, sleeping, taking care of yourself, listening to your body.....as a band leader once said, "Vonderful, vonderful...a one, a two...(champagne bubbles)". YEP, YOU DO MATTER. :)
Sending you lot's of healthy, healing energy and wishes. Take care my friend, Colleen
It is scary but so wonderful that you have this chance...and you have people who love you, to surround you when you will be "at the mercy" (I think that's the scary part, no?). You have a lot of living to do yet, adult children to enjoy, grandchildren to enjoy. Focus on that. Use your faith, accept the love, jump in with both feet. I haven't known you but three years, yet I don't think you've ever jumped into anything with one foot. All is well. Breath.
ReplyDeleteRachel
You will remain in my thoughts and prayers, as always. You gotta do it. It sucks, but you gotta do it! Whining allowed here.
ReplyDelete